Communication Fundamentals 5:Your Tree is Not My Tree

Axiom 1: There is no such thing as perfect communication

Picture credit: Ranee Kaur Banerjee

It is impossible for you to interpret my words exactly, perfectly, just as I meant them. This is because you and I are different in a myriad small ways.

When I say the word "tree," you know what I mean, generally speaking, but you don't know, cannot know my tree. Similarly, you cannot know how tall my tall is or how hot my hot is. My tree, my tall, my hot come from my unique experiences just as your conceptions of those words come from yours.

In real terms, the mere denotation of a word does not really convey its entire meaning. The connotations attached to the word, the context in which it is said, the tone of voice (or punctuations) used when it is spoken, the body language of the sender when the word is expressed, the environment in which it is uttered, the very appropriateness of the word on the occasion it is articulated, the receiver’s faith in the reliability of the sender and his own attitude to the sender, the subject and to himself—all contribute to the meaning that is finally garnered by the receiver.

The aim of communication, thus, is not "perfect" but "effective" communication. Communication is effective when we get the desired result from our efforts to communicate.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Communication Fundamentals 4: The Ways We Communicate

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Think of all the ways you communicate everyday.

You think, you read, you speak, you make lists, you gesture, you listen to the radio, you chat on facebook, you watch TV, you talk on your cell-phone...

Extra-personal communication is when you communicate with non-humans. The most common form of extra-personal communication is your exchange of information with or through machines.

When two or more people communicate it is inter-personal communication.

When you communicate with yourself it is intra-personal communication.

When you broadcast a piece of communication to many people simultaneously, it is mass-media communication.

However, you must remember that human communication cannot be neatly pigeon-holed.

Some methods of communication straddle two categories-- talking on the phone or using the computer to chat for example, is both extra-personal and interpersonal communication

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Communication Fundamentals 3: Why do we communicate?

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We communicate because we have no choice in the matter. It is an animal need.
We communicate because we don't know how not to.
We communicate because in order to know ourselves, we must see ourselves reflected in other eyes.
We communicate because we could not understand or think if we didn't.
We communicate to express our thoughts, issue commands, get the desired result or influence an action.
But most of all, we communicate to survive.

Imagine your internal organs not communicating.
Imagine your body not receiving or reacting to external stimuli.
Imagine total isolation.

Communication is not an option. It is the difference between living and dying.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Soft Skills Rule! or The Importance of Learning from Life

Soft skills are important for everybody, everywhere. That is a fact that cannot be denied.

Students aspiring for an MBA often ask me what knowledge and skills they most need to have to succeed in getting into the B-School of their choice. I always tell them that it is paramount to develop their soft skills and to keep themselves open and receptive to the lessons life wants to teach them.

Take a look at some admission forms of the best MBA schools in the world. They all have questions that assess your personality and attitudes, your maturity and exposure, your emotional stability and self-worth, you transferable attributes etc.

"Tell us about a time you felt proud of yourself."
"What do you consider to be your biggest accomplishments?"
"Describe a time you felt really good about yourself" (variants of this question may ask you to elucidate the time you failed; the time you saved the day; the time someone asked you to do something unethical etc.)

You are sure to be asked similar questions during admissions interviews.

While the grind for good grades can’t be denied given the ultimate goal of getting a desirable job or a post-graduate education from a coveted institution, students must realise the importance of life skills. Good exam results will not automatically grant them professional success or personal fulfillment; their soft-skills will.

Candidates equipped with soft-skills are more likely to be selected in interviews even if their results aren't brilliant because increasingly, higher education administrators and human resource recruiters are realising that if necessary, technical or domain training can easily be imparted to inductees who possess a high degree of soft skills. However, the opposite is almost impossible.


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Leadership, initiative, problem solving, lateral thinking, flexibility, inter-personal skills, positive attitude, confidence, ethics, openness to experiences, etiquette, community-spirit, and maturity are examples of soft skills. Unfortunately, unlike technical and domain knowledge, students can’t learn these skills from text books or class lectures.

These are learned from everyday living and growing and "becoming" as students participate in sports and other extra-curricular activities that have nothing to do with certificates, examinations and results and, in fact, have everything to do with extending their boundaries and having fun.

In sum, once your "hard" qualifications prove your eligibility for that seat or position you are seeking to fill, your prospective educators or employers will probably make their final evaluations and decisions about your candidature based upon your "soft" attributes. 

Never underestimate the importance of life skills.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Communication Barriers

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Before we can get into any serious discussion about the nature of communication, we have to deal with the ubiquitous barriers that are part and parcel of everything we intend to communicate.

Gaps, blocks and errors are potentially viable and are, in fact, probable in every act of communication. The intention of any piece of communication is for the sender to get the desired result when the receiver has interpreted what is being sent through the channels.

If, for any reason, what the receiver understands differs from what was intended to be sent the “information” has not, in fact, been “transferred.” Therefore, the very act of communication is rendered useless and the intended communication never happened.

When communication fails or gets twisted, there is a “barrier” or obstacle somewhere in the process of the transfer of information from sender to receiver.

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 This failure in the transfer of information could happen for myriad reasons and ways. The trouble spot could be at the sender’s or at the receiver’s end. It could be because of an inefficient use of language; it could be because of using an improper channel or medium; it could be because the recipient failed to or didn’t try to understand or even because of “noise” in the channel.

I'll deal with noise in the context of communication in more detail in the next few posts. For now, you should keep in mind that communication noise may be physical, psychological, physiological, semantic, socio-cultural or organisational. Also, please remember that in the communication context, 'noise' is not equated with 'unwanted sound.'

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

An Old Cliché about Groups

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Here’s a common workplace problem. I’m going to describe it with a really worn-out example, but it still works for me when I want to explain this phenomenon.
There were four colleagues called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it.
Everybody was sure Somebody would do it; Anybody could have done it; but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
So where did this group go wrong?

• It went wrong because it couldn’t become a team. And it couldn’t become a team because:
• there were no clear-cut roles assigned
• the process—the “how do we do it” was not addressed
• there was complete lack of accountability
• there was no interaction among the group’s members as to the status of the task
• no information was shared
• there was no ownership or pride in the task that they were required to perform

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION FOR GROUPS AND TEAMS

Groups involve people and sharing of ideas, so obviously, communication plays a major role in whether groups translate into successful teams or not.

When I wrote about Tuckman's stages of group development, I also gave you an indication of the kind of communication that happens in each stage.

In general, however, effective group communication comes out of behaviour or conduct that is conducive to building teams. This includes:
-showing concern and respect for others
-identifying and sharing resources
-building on each other's ideas
-resolving conflict, not burying or disregarding it

Given the above conduct of concern and respect for every group member, effective communication within teams would naturally involve listening to each other with open minds, talking to each other and sharing information regularly. In addition, group members must periodically go through the process of "testing assumptions," that is, of making sure that every group member understands a point or a process or the goal in the same way and that there are no mistaken ideas or mis-assumptions within the group.

From time to time, conflict is bound to happen in any group. In fact, a group with no conflict has yet to develop from the first stage of "forming." When conflicts happen, they must be acknowledged and no viewpoint must be brushed off as useless or wrong. Instead, group members must analyse each viewpoint, reason with each other, persuade and convince each other until they arrive at a consensus.

At times, you have to say something negative or disagree with other group members. The key to making sure your disagreement is registered in the right spirit is to always render "constructive criticism" This means putting your points--even negative ones-- across in a positive manner; negating an idea, not the person who made it; not just saing "no"or raising an objection or posing a problem but also indicating how the problem could be solved, or the correct direction to take in your opinion. When you have to disagree, you must do it so that the person or people you are disagreeing with do not feel slighted or insulted. Always end on a positive note.

Fundamentally, effective communication in teams can happen only when you show that you care for the other members' responsiblities and roles. At the same time, you must also make it known that you are yourself committed to the group task and not looking for or highlighting your personal achievements.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

ROLES IN GROUPS OR TEAMS

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Dr Meredith Belbin, a British researcher and management theorist, studied team-work for many years.

He defines a “team role” as “a tendency to behave, contribute and interrelate with others in a particular way" and named nine such team roles that underlie team success.

Please do keep in mind that:
Belbin's "team-roles" are based on observed behavior and interpersonal styles.While Belbin suggests that people tend to adopt a particular team-role, your behavior and interpersonal style within a team is to some extent dependent on the situation: It relates not only to your own natural working style, but also to your interrelationships with others, and the work being done.

You, and the people you work with, may behave and interact quite differently in different teams or when the membership or work of the team changes.

Also, please be aware that there are other approaches in use, some of which complement this model, some of which conflict with it. By all means use this approach as a guide, however do not put too much reliance on it, and temper any conclusions with common sense.


Belbin’s nine team roles are divided into 3 broad classifications:Action Oriented Roles,
People Oriented Roles and
Thought Oriented Roles.

Action Oriented Roles:
Shaper:
-challenges the team to improve
-is dynamic and usually extroverted
-enjoys stimulating others
-questions norms
-problem solver: sees obstacles as challenges
-ensures all possibilities are considered and that the team does not become complacent
-has the courage to push on when others feel like quitting
weaknesses:
-may be argumentative
-may offend people's feelings.

Implementer:
-gets things done
-turns the team's ideas and concepts into practical actions and plans
-typically conservative and disciplined
-works systematically and efficiently
-very well organized
-someone you can count on to get the job done

Weaknesses:
-may be inflexible and somewhat resistant to change

Completer-Finisher:
-ensures projects are completed thoroughly
-ensures there have been no errors or omissions
-pays attention to the smallest of details
-very concerned with deadlines ; pushes the team to make sure the job is completed on time
-orderly, anxious, conscientious perfectionist

Weaknesses:
-may worry unnecessarily
-finds it hard to delegate

People Oriented Roles
Coordinator
-the traditional team-leader or chairman
-guides the team to what they perceive are the objectives
-excellent listener
-naturally able to recognize the value of each team member
-calm and good-natured
-delegates tasks very effectively.

Weaknesses:
-may delegate too much personal responsibility
-may tend to be manipulative

Team Worker
-provides support
-makes sure the team is working together
-acts as negotiator within the team
-flexible, diplomatic, and perceptive
-popular and capable but prioritizes team cohesion and helping people getting along

Weaknesses:
-tendency to be indecisive
-may maintain uncommitted positions during discussions and decision-makingResource

Investigator
-innovative and curious
-explores available options, develops contacts, and negotiates for resources on behalf of the team -enthusiastic team member
-identifies and works with external stakeholders to help the team accomplish its objective
-outgoing and extroverted; others are often receptive to them and their ideas

Weaknesses:-may lose enthusiasm easily
-often overly optimistic

Thought Oriented Roles:
Plant
-creative innovator
-comes up with new ideas and approaches
-thrives on praise but doesn’t deal with criticism too well
-often introverted and prefers to work apart from the team

Weaknesses:
-can be impractical at times because of innate creativity
-may also be poor communicator
-tends to ignore given parameters and constraints

Monitor - Evaluator
-good at analyzing other peoples’ (generally Plants’) ideas
-shrewd and objective
-carefully weighs the pros and cons of all the options before coming to a decision
-critical thinker; very strategic in approach

Weaknesses:
-often perceived as detached or unemotional
-poor motivator who reacts to events rather than instigating them

Specialist
-has specialized knowledge that is needed to get the job done
-prides himself on skills and abilities
-works to maintain professional status
-job within the team is to be an expert in the area; commits fully to his field of expertise

Weaknesses:
-limited contribution
-preoccupation with technicalities at the expense of the bigger picture

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Creative Thinking

Way back in the 1980s, Roger von Oech’s A Whack on the Side of the Head became a cult book for advertising and marketing professionals who were always looking for means to stimulate creative thinking in their teams.

As a fresh-out-of-college Trainee Copywriter in one of India’s best-known advertising agencies (the one where the legendary Satyajit Ray, among many other luminaries, used to work once upon a time), I was introduced to this book by my Creative Directors and for a while, the book became my constant companion.

A Whack on the Side of the Head tries to teach you how you can be more creative. In one section Oech recommends asking yourself What if questions. “Asking what if,” he says, “is an easy and powerful way to get your imagination going.”

On page 74 of my much-fingered, dog-eared volume of Oech’s book he describes an answer to the “what if” question:
What if we lived our lives backwards?

Life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time, all your weekends, and what do you get at the end of it? Death, a great reward.

The life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, and get it out of the way. Then you live for twenty years in an old age home, and get kicked out when you’re too young. You get a gold watch and then you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy
your retirement.

You go to college and you party until you’re ready for high school. Then you go to grade school, you become a little kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating, and you finish off as a gleam in somebody’s eye.

Needless to say, this was decades before Benjamin Button!

Von Oech’s book is about thinking out of the box or making new lines of flight where there were none by getting away from the usual pairing and opposition associations and igniting fresh and unusual neural pathways.

If you’re going to be good at communication, you have to think creatively and know without doubt that there is more than one correct answer to everything and more than one way to approach and solve a problem.


Photo-credit: www.goodreads.com

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Bruce Tuckman's Stages of Group Development

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In 1965, Bruce Tuckman, an educational psychologist, first described 4 stages of group development as Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing. He did this after he had observed many small groups in various environments and concluded that all groups went through certain "stages" before they became optimally effective. In 1977, Tuckman (this time working with Mary Ann Jensen), added a 5th stage, Adjourning.

This is how I would describe Tuckman's stages from my own experience of task-groups in many workplaces:

Forming
In this stage, the group is coming together. Individuals are still tentative and hesitant about their roles within the group and try to avoid conflict as much as possible. The driving need for individuals in this stage is to be accepted by the others.

Thus, in this stage, people stay away from serious subjects and controversies or conflicts and concentrate on getting along together.

This is also the stage where they try to organise themselves and their roles and routines and get comfortable in each other's company.

For the task-group, however, this means that nothing really gets done.

Storming
Once the group's members achieve a certain comfort level and sense of belonging, they begin to address some of the serious issues at hand. Thus starts the conflict or "storming" stage of the group's development.

This is the stage where confrontations happen and differences are thrashed out. The disputes may be task-oriented or personality clashes or even organisational or administrative (I don't like my role; I want that responsibility; I don't like doing this; I'm doing most of the work; I don't like your attitude; I don't think this is the way to go; Saturday mornings are impossible for me...).

Norming
Most of these skirmishes are generally dealt with, but the underlying conflict remains and sometimes the group may find itself almost polarised. It is at this point that members of the group may want rules or norms and begin looking for structural and procedural clarity. Here begins the norming, or the laying down of the group's norms.

In this stage, the scope of the group, its tasks or goals or character are clarified, its procedures laid out and agreed upon.

Group members have now had their arguments and disputes and have gone beyond the tentative stage of trying to please each other. They can now look at each other and be with each other and belong with each other as they are, not as they seemed to be. They now know each other's capabilities, talents, skills, defects and limitations.

The group has now passed from concept to reality. Its members can now really talk to each other and listen to each other and appreciate and support each other. It is only at this stage that the group is ready to become a cohesive and effective team.

Performing
Groups that become teams and perform efficiently are in a state of synergy and symbiosis.

Team members are high on trust and loyalty towards thier colleagues and very oriented and focussed on the task ahead.

Thus, morale is high and the goal can be achieved with roles and responsibilities changing as they need. The individuals that make the team can now work together with a great degree of flexibility and willingness to walk the extra mile for each other and the task.

Unfortunately, all groups don't reach this stage and remain in comfort at the "norming" stage. They don't want to go back to "storming" but are afraid to go forward to "performing." These groups resist any change.

On the other hand, some groups are doomed to switching back and forth between "storming" and "norming." Any change in the structure of composition of the group (a new member is introduced; a role is changed) may take the group back into "storming."

In order for a group to move to "performing," some of its members must recognise the stagnation and help to push it forward.

Adjourning (added in 1977)
After the task is completed, the team must disengage (both from the task and from fellow team-members).

A successful adjourning happens when members are proud of what they have achieved and happy to have belonged together but at the same time they recognise that it is time to move on.

They may feel a sense of loss and reminisce about the way it used to be, but the decision to disengage is conscious and positive.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Top 10 Reasons Not to Get an MBA

Is the Master in Business Administration (MBA) course right for you? If you're not really sure, my Top 10 reasons why not to do an MBA may help you decide.

The Master in Business Administration or MBA is the best known professional post-graduate management course in the world. Since most multinationals now consider it an essential, not just a desirable, qualification when they recruit employees, thousands of business schools have filled seats and waiting lists. No wonder MBA institutes are proliferating exponentially.

Before you go and enroll yourself into an MBA course do ask yourself if it is appropriate for you. Are you entering the program for the right reasons? If you're still not sure, see my Top 10 Reasons to Get an MBA.

Here are the Top 10 reasons why I don’t think you should join an MBA program. I’ve sorted them in order from the “not-good-but-not-totally-bad” to the “absolutely-the-most-absurd “reasons I’ve ever heard in all my years as
faculty member of a management school and corporate consultant.

#10: I’m unemployed right now, so I’m going to get another qualification

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Well, OK, that doesn’t sound completely off-the-wall. You don’t have a job and instead of sitting around moping or whiling your time away, you’ve decided to get a post-graduate qualification that’ll do you good in the future. It will even sound commendable in your resume when you explain that gap in service.

Don’t think I’m a party pooper here, but I really don’t think not having a job at the moment is a convincing reason to commit to a rigorous, full-time, 2-year course that will take all your time and energy. If a job is what you really want right now, shouldn’t you be putting that time and energy into getting employed instead of getting more employable in the future?

An MBA makes much more sense after you’ve got a few years of experience under your skin, anyway.

#9: It will look good on my resume

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Yes, perhaps it will, if you get it from the right school. I’ve never known an MBA to look bad on anybody’s resume as long as it comes from a good, accredited, respectable school.

But if that is the only reason you’re going to enroll, think again. There are lots of other post-graduate degrees, diplomas and courses out there that would look just as good on your resume as an MBA. Choose your post-graduate education with careful thought to your core strengths and areas of interest. It makes sense to specialize in something you like and would want to work with for the rest of your life.

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#8: I’ll get a better job and earn more money
Perhaps, initially, the MBA could open more doors and you could be offered more than a friend who didn’t have the qualification. That’s just a short-term advantage, however. In the longer
term, what really matters is your ability, your temperament, your skills and the way you use them.

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#7: I’ll be able to go up the corporate ladder faster
I don’t credit this thought at all. It’s
not the MBA that’ll take you up the rungs of your organization; it’s you, your skills and your attitude.

In other words, the MBA will maybe get you into the organization, but how well you do and how much you progress really depends on how your competencies fit the Key Responsibility Areas of your job profile.

#6: I’m not ready to go to work yet

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Good for you, but what does that have to do with getting an MBA? Take a couple of years off to travel instead. If you’re careful, you could travel a good bit with what you would spend on that MBA program and it would be wonderful education for you.
I’ve known too many students just out of an undergraduate program who didn’t want to work straight away and so they went for an MBA qualification. I’m sure what they got out of the program was not commensurate with their investment of time, energy and money. If you’re not going to put it to good use, why go for a professional qualification?

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#5: It’s a popular course and I like being a student
Like being a student? Study something you want to. Study something you’re really interested in. Study something because you want t
o learn it rather than because it is popular.

This is a professional post-graduate course that entails a serious financial obligation as well as a great deal of your mental concentration and emotional involvement. You’re going to be very frustrated and unhappy if you’re not undertaking it for the right reasons.

It is not a crochet class or a language learning course that will give you immediate gratification in terms of satisfaction and returns in direct response to the effort you put in.

#4: I might as well do it now instead of later

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Wrong: it will be much better for you to do it later, when you’ve got some experience and maturity and know what you’re looking for. You’ll have something to contribute to the learning process and it will be easier for you to make network connections that matter.

The MBA program was built for people who had a few years of job experience behind them. Without the experience, it is just a paper qualification. So if you have a choice, you should wait a few years before getting that MBA.

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#3: Everybody else is doing it
That’s like saying everybody’s jumping in the well, so I will too! I get a mental image of thousands of wildebee
st all plunging into the same spot of the river as they migrate to the Serengeti. There’s safety in herds, but if you’re going to be part of a herd, the MBA is definitely not for you!

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#2: My Dad (Mom, Cousin, Neighbor, Uncle…) thinks it’s a good idea
Great: then let them get that MBA for themselves. I appreciate that your parents and well-wishers want the best for you, but they must stop living vicariou
sly through you. You should do what you think is right for you and your career.

Get an MBA if you’re sure it is the course to take. Live your own life.

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#1: My girlfriend / boyfriend is doing it and I want to be with him / her
It happens too often for me to be amused at this. Many young people make major decisions based on their current love-interests. I hope it doesn’t happen, but your relationship with your girlfriend or your boyfriend is not likely to last as long as the MBA program!

Whether or not you agree with my Top 10 Reasons Why Not to Get an MBA, I hope I’ve been able to make you re-examine your reasons why you would want to enroll into an MBA program. Eventually, it will be your decision to join or not to join—all I want is for your choice to be an educated one.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS FOR MANAGERS

TA can be immensely useful for anybody who needs to work with people (and who doesn’t!). In fact, those who deal with organisational development may find TA an invaluable tool.

As a manager, I can use it to understand and structure my clients' aims and goals. Then I can sit with the clients and build a strategy on how we can achieve those targets given the specific parameters and ground realities that govern the organisation's daily functioning. In particular, TA is very useful when I want to encourage effective communication techniques and eliminate interpersonal conduct and behaviour that is detrimental to the orgaisation's health.

If I understand the way people interact with each other; if I can evaluate why they behave a certain way; if I can address a certain behavior or tone of voice with the correct response from my end in terms of conduct and paralanguage, I can manage people better and can regulate the work environment and experience to the benefit of my organizational goals.

I can encourage and improve relations between my subordinates with my knowledge of TA. I can judge when to take a Critical Parent Stance and then consciously change it to Adult when I see that my subordinate is beginning to reply from the Negative Adapted Child ego state by becoming rebellious or turning too compliant.

Sometimes, I may want to use my Nurturing Parent Ego State in team-building so that my subordinates can release their Free Child Ego State and feel a sense of job satisfaction.

I can use TA to facilitate team building, understand group dynamics, resolve personality conflicts and generally make the work-environment more comfortable and productive for my most important resource—my employees. I can also use TA in negotiations with other companies, or with my superiors or subordinates. I can use my knowledge of TA to lead, to motivate, to persuade and convince.

I can use TA in meetings and brain-storming sessions—the possibilities of the utility of Transactional Analysis for the manager are endless and limited only by the manager’s imagination!

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Eric Berne, MD

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David Bernstein, MD, was a general physician in Montreal, Quebec at a time when family doctors still made visits to their patients’ homes. His wife, Sarah was a writer and editor. Both were first generation immigrant Canadians. Both David and Sarah graduated from McGill University. On May 10, 1910, Dr. Bernstein and his wife were blessed with a son they named Lennard Eric Bernstein. Five years later, a daughter was born to them and she was named Grace. David contracted tuberculosis and died when he was just 38. Sarah raised her two children as a single parent.  

In time, David and Sarah’s son Lennard came to be known by his middle name Eric. Like his father, Eric studied medicine at McGill University Medical School where he earned his MD and Master of Surgery degrees in 1935. He went on to intern at Englewood Hospital in New Jersey in the United States and followed his internship with a two-year psychiatric residency at Yale School of Medicine’s psychiatric clinic. He then got a job as a Clinical Assistant in Psychiatry at Mt. Zion Hospital, New York City and also established a private practice in Norwalk, Connecticut. At the same time, he began training as a psychoanalyst. Now in his early 30s, he became an American citizen and shortened his last name to Berne. On the personal front, he married his first wife Ruth and had two children with her.

He joined the United States Army Medical Corps to help the American World War II effort in 1943 and served until 1946. By this time, he was divorced and he decided to move to California. This is where Berne resumed his studies as a psychoanalyst, wrote several seminal papers and eight major books, attained cult status as the founder of a theory called Transactional Analysis and married twice more before he had two heart attacks and died in 1970 at the age of sixty.

Dr. Eric Berne’s work includes:

"Intuition V: The Ego Image" 1957

"Ego States in Psychotherapy” 1957

"Transactional Analysis: A New and Effective Method of Group Therapy" 1958

The Mind in Action (1947)

A Layman's Guide to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis (1957)

Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy (1961)

Structure and Dynamics of Organizations and Groups (1963)

Games People Play (1964)

Principles Group Treatment (1966)

Sex in Human Loving (1970)

What Do You Say After You Say Hello (published posthumously in 1971)

You can access a complete bibliography of Eric Berne’s publications here:

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS APPLIED IN COMMUNICATION

We discussed Dr. Eric Berne's social psychology theory of Transactional Analysis in class over the last couple of lectures. Since Berne's death in 1970, the theory has evolved and is now applied widely in areas such as organisational development and education as well as the more expected fields of psychotherapy and counseling,

When I teach you the basic concepts of TA, I can make all of you subscribe to a common understanding of how our personalities work and function when we talk to each other. This enhances the process of communication manifold and helps to eliminate common misunderstandings and conflicts.

More pertinently, you can use TA to understand your own relationships and communications with others.

For the core concepts of Transactional Analysis, go here
Also, here is a video I found that I think will help you understand the basic concepts of TA:



The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Language, Thought and Communication

photo credit: professor-virtual.blogspot.com

Does language influence thought? Over the last century, there has been a lot of debate on this question. Current researchers, however, take it for granted that language and thought are related and that they interact with each other in complex ways. The question they ask now is what does this relationship imply?

19th century German Philosopher Wilhelm von Humboldt claimed that language was directly connected to thinking. In the 1920s linguist Edward Sapir and later, his student Benjamin Lee Whorf theorised that thoughts are controlled or influenced by the language we speak. This thesis, also widely known as the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, is called linguistic determinism.

However, in 1994, psychologist Steven Pinker and other linguistic relativists countered the deterministic claims made by the Whorfians. The relativists believed that language and thought were not as intrinsically connected as previously thought.

We now take for granted that language shapes our perception of our world with researchers like Lera Borodotsky proving that the languages we speak in fact do shape our perception of the world around us. Current experiments and research have proved conclusively that peoples' relations with time, space, colour as well as the objects around them are certainly affected by language.

The structures, vocabularies and boundaries of the language(s) we know have indisputable influence on how we think. On the other hand, the structures, vocabularies and boundaries of the language(s) we know are also influenced by the histories, geographies, memories, values, attitudes--the realities--of a particular people.

Language is thus, both the begetter of our cultural thought-processes and our collective personalities and the result of our cultural thought-process and our collective personalities.


The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Diogenes on Communication

Diogenes de Sinope (called so because he was born in Synop which is now in Turkey) is also known as Diogenes the Cynic, the founder of Cynicism. He lived between 412 and 323 BC and died in Corinth (a place that is also famous or a particular style of ancient Greek pillars.)

Of course, cynicism didn’t mean then what it means now and the Cynics were actually the precursors of the Stoics, who came later with Zeno.

Like most of my icons, Diogenes was provocative, both in thought and life and he courted controversy so that he could bring in social change. The son of a banker, he was involved in a scandal about defacing currency in Synope and moved to Athens. Here, he challenged the Athenian ethos in every way imaginable. He slept in a tub in public view, ate in the market-place and did other unspeakable things in public against the prevailing social etiquette. He had no shame in begging and exulted in his extreme poverty. Among the many evergreen Diogenes quotes is this one: “He has the most who can make the most of the least.” 

Diogenes made a habit of arguing with Plato and disrupting his lectures on Socrates. He is also known as the man who lived after insulting Alexander. True to his flagrantly outrageous life, he was captured by pirates and sold into slavery.

We know about Diogenes of Sinope from the writings of another Diogenes (Laertius) who wrote a book called Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers in which he writes anecdotes about Diogenes’ life and talks about his writings.

But why am I telling you about Diogenes? This post is not really a digression from the topic I thought I’d continue from my last post.

Diogenes de sinope is responsible for one of my most favourite sayings. In fact, whether or not they attribute it to him, this is one of the most used Diogenes quotes by people all over the world. I use it often to illustrate the importance of one of the most vital, most difficult to master, most underrated and least understood verbal communication skills: Listening.

We have been given two ears and one tongue so that we may listen more and talk less.

Thus spake Diogenes.

Image from: www.davemckay.co.uk/philosophy/diogenes/

If you're interested in knowing more about Diogenes of Sinope, you can read about him here and here:

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Factors That Affect Perception: Stereotyping

Now let's talk about how our perception plays tricks on us!

image credit: creativereview.com

Stereotyping is one of the most common factors that affect and distort perception.

We have the tendency to classify our experiences and encounters, our feelings and thoughts, the people we meet and the things we see into groups and categories. We peg them to other, similar types of experiences and encounters, thoughts and feelings and people and things we have heard of or known or seen in the past. Thus, we label stimuli according to our own peculiar frames of reference.

The problem with this is that we tend to impose our opinions and feelings about a "class" to the individual experience, event or person. The moment we peg and label an individual experience to a category, we think we know its essence from our general impressions about that category. We no longer try to get an in depth, independent and personal knowledge of that object, experience or person as an exclusive and disparate entity that is to be evaluated and valued for itself.

Hence all darkness is evil and scary; women are emotional beings; a person with a disability cannot travel alone; white skin is better than black skin; fat people are lazy: our perceptions are constantly affected and distorted by the thousands of stereotypes we carry within ourselves.

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Business Writing Skills: The Importance of Writing Well for Effective Organisational Communication

A very big HR recruiter once told me that strong writing skills were the number 1 talent he looked for in job candidates across all functions. Did I agree with him, he asked me or did I disagree with this approach?

This made me start thinking about the importance of writing skills in business.



Obviously, the recruiter did not mean that he was looking for creative writng talent in every job applicant. What he meant was that at job interviews,he actively sought a person's ability to express his ideas in short, clear, grammatical sentences with logically arranged and linked paragraphs.

In other words, he was looking for effective business writing skills in all the candidates he interviewed, whatever their level and profile. I agreed with him wholeheartedly. I cannot over-emphasize the importance of writing skills in business.

Why do we need good writing skills in organisations? And by good business writing skills, I mean prose that seems effortlessly written and is easily read and understood.

I consider writing skills extremely important in any organisational role.

Records must be kept, instructions must be given, reports must be written, actions must be explained, applications must be made, forms must be filled...the list is endless and applies to all levels of any organisation.

Someone who can write well can conserve organisational time and effort to a great extent--no need for down-the-line oral messages; fewer misunderstandings, therefore fewer re-works; complicated policies and issues put down clearly and succintly for all to follow...you see what I mean.

Also, putting something in writing (say talking points, or lists, or details of a phone call) organizes things in our minds and makes it easier for us to make logical, effective presentations or oral reports without losing the thread or forgetting some things.

Therefore, there is a place and a need for writing skills across all levels in business. Whatever your Key Responsibility Area (KRA), you would do well if you began trying to improve your writing skills.

Improving writing skills is sure to make you do better at your job and better business writing skills will, sooner rather than later, translate into faster growth up the organisational ladder for you.

Images from:
polon.co.uk
blog.dinogane.com
larrymonk.co.uk

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills

Types of Models

Some models describe a theory or a hypothesis and try to explain the quality or character of a system or process. These are called conceptual models.

Interactive demonstrations are physical models that apply a theory or hypothesis in order test its assumptions and also to display and clarify the workings of the theory or hypothesis. They take the theory from concept to application.

Mathematical and Statistical Models may be analytical or numerical and are used to discover patterns and recognise relationships between relevant sets of facts and figures.

Teaching models are visualizations that help teachers and students picture or imagine how something works.

You can get more information on the definition and classification of models from the introductory chapter of Ford, Andrew, 2009 (2nd edition): Modeling the Environment . Island Press, Washington D.C.

image credits: 
epa.gov
wired.com
freerepublic.com
ehow.com

The author, Dr. Ranee Kaur Banerjee, is Managing Partner at Expressions@Work, a training, consulting and mentoring studio for the development of communication and soft skills